I spent those two hours with him. I never left his side. I took tons of photos of him. I sat in the backseat of our SUV while we went to the vet's office. Milo always hated the car and whined and whimpered the entire time normally. He didn't make a peep on Thursday. So not like him.
In a matter of minutes, my best friend of nine years was gone. He was my big baby all those years. He was my dog within days of being rescued from Kentucky. Milo was only five months old when he came to live with us.
He was the sweetest dog I have ever met. Between my grandparents, parents, and myself we've had probably close to 20 dogs. There's only been one other dog that I had a similar bond with and that was Brandy. She was my grandparents Newfie/Lab mix. She was a BIG lap dog. She was my best friend through some pretty tragic stuff growing up. Losing her was awful, but nothing like losing Milo.
For me, losing Milo is like losing a child. I've been married a long time and don't have children. My dogs really are my kids. Sure, they're four legged and furry, but I treat them like they are my children. I cook for them, clean their rooms (crates), wash their clothes/bedding, take them on vacation, makes them treats, give them lots of love, bring them to the doctor when they're sick, etc.
Milo was glued to me his entire life. His whole goal in life was to please me and make me happy. He didn't like to be yelled at or scolded. He tried very hard to be a very good doggie. He didn't bark and sass back unlike Maxx when he couldn't do what he wanted. Maxx has always been a mouthy teenager. Ashley is a prima donna and she knows it and doesn't let you forget it. Milo was never a pack leader. He never wanted to be in charge. He was perfectly happy following along and being a happy go lucky guy.
What does all this lead to? My heart is broken. I really feel like a piece of me has been ripped out of me. Our home is is so empty. It's so quite. Something huge is missing. We all have felt it. Maxx and Ashley look for Milo still. The three of them grew up together. Maxx came to live with us literally two days after Milo came home. Maxx has been much more clingy and at the same time distant. It's sad seeing how losing Milo has affected Maxx and Ashley. They lost their brother and there's no way I can explain to them what happened.
I know they knew he was sick. His personality and behaviors changed so much over the last five months. It was sad to see him go through this. He couldn't run anymore. He didn't play with Maxx anymore. They played together practically every day until Milo became sick. Maxx is now looking to play. He has been playing with my hubby at night outside. It's nice to see this happen with him, but it's sad because his best bud isn't there to play with.
All this leads me to where I am now. I've started reading a pet grieving book. I know this is going to take time. A lot of time. I am behind in orders. I admit it. Throw in a holiday weekend and our anniversary and I'm even further behind. I am trying to get caught up. I am asking you to please be patient with me. Right now, I'm only going to the post office twice a week. I understand this may bother some folks, but right now this is the best I can do. Please be patient! I will get to your emails and your order. It will take a few days. I promise I'm not ignoring you.
Today I will be updating what has been sold. Every order that has been paid as of Friday morning has shipped. I have many pending orders. I have some folks who I am waiting for a response from. I also have many more items I need to upload to my blog. I will work on this later this week. I want to get caught up first. I am so sorry for being behind and not answering emails right away.
For today I leave you with the photo I feel in love with nine years ago.
February 10, 2004 - August 29, 2013
Rest in Peace